Darren Criss: I ain't telling you shit, son!
RC: (to thank someone, on a thank-you card) I truly appreciate your help, thank you so much!
DC: YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE LIKE A MUTHA FUCKIN' LAMP.
RC: I've always wanted to be an actor.
DC: Oh man, I want to be a genie when I grow up!
RC: Just be yourself.
DC: There is nothing more badass than being yourself!
RC: It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like.
DC: I don't care if you're gay, straight, purple, orange, dinosaur, I don't care!
RC: You make me smile.
DC: You make my heart go super-whee!
RC: Oh yes, I do recall meeting you before.
DC: FUCK YOU SUCK MY BALLS I TOTALLY REMEMBERED YOU!
RC: (on hearing a 'no' from the crowd) *ignores it*
DC: Was that a 'no'? Sorry, pfft, back to Britney Spears!